Giving birth and holding a baby is just the most amazing thing that can happen to a woman. However, with the new baby there come many daily tasks you should perform, often leaving you exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed at the end of the day.
For many women, sex is just the last thing they can think of. On the other hand, some women just can’t wait to get back to their normal sexual life and enjoy all the pleasure of a sexual contact.
When can you have postpartum sex?
As everyone is unique, postpartum sex is something totally individual as well. First of all, you should probably wonder when you are allowed to have sex again. Normally, it will take some time before you get back on the track. Lochia, the postpartum bleeding varies from one woman to the other. It’s not recommended to have sex before lochia ends. Also, you should wait for the first six weeks after giving birth both vaginally or by C-section before you and your partner have sex.
After six weeks you should go for the first postpartum checkup at your doctor’s office who would look at how things are going down there. The healing period is very important, regardless if you have given birth naturally or not.
If you have given birth naturally, your doctor will look for the episiotomy wound if you have one. If you have given birth by C-section, then your doctor will look the incision wound and if this wound is healing properly.
If everything turns out to be ok in this first checkup after delivery, then you and your partner can start having sexual intercourse again. As mentioned, it’s very important to wait for the first six weeks after giving birth, until you get a doctor’s approval. It’s normal to take the necessary time to recover after giving birth and there is no need to rush into things if you are not feeling ready. Not only the body needs to be ready and prepared but your mind as well.
Welcoming a baby into the family is quite a big change, especially for first-time parents. All the excitement, work, feeding and diaper changing are quite exhausting. If you just rush things and start having sex without recovering completely, you can end up with complications and prolong the recovery period this way. Often, having sex too soon after giving birth can lead to shredded stitches of the episiotomy wound or C- section wound.
Get all the time you need and enjoy these days with your little one. Remember that you and your partner will have plenty of time to catch up with what you have been missing.
- What about when your doctor gives you the green light?
- Will it hurt?
- How will I feel?
- Will it be the same or will it feel different?
These are all normal questions couples wonder about before having postpartum sex for the first time.
Depending on how you are doing physically and the time you let your body recover, postpartum sex doesn’t have to be less good than it used to be. It doesn’t even have to hurt either. It’s just important to take it slowly and listen to your body. If it hurts or if you feel uncomfortable, you and your partner can just stick to kissing or cuddling for a while. Also, try to be relaxed and as we already mentioned, to take it slowly.
If you feel abnormal pain
However, if you have persistent pelvic pain or discomfort after the recommended waiting period, it may be necessary to visit your gynecologist. Many women reported pain during the first time they had sex after giving birth. Others reported pain during the first three months after giving birth, while a few of them reported pain even after a year of giving birth.
Women who breastfeed also tend to have a lower libido and less satisfaction during sexual intercourse. However, it’s important to give it time and enjoy and explore with each other until everything gets back to normal again. When it comes to the emotional part, it’s normal for women to have a lack of sexual desire after giving birth. First, all the feeding and diaper changing or baby crying can prevent you from having sex or enjoying it.
As you are both adjusting to the new roles of being parents, quite a few changes will occur in your lives including a change in your sexual life. You might not be having sex as often as you used to, or you might not enjoy it as you used too, but these are all temporary things.
Once both of you have created a schedule and learned how to function as a family, things will get easier, including in bed. If you and your partner are struggling with emotional issues that are interfering your sexual life, you can always consult a sex therapist.