One of the most emotional and painful experiences you can go through in your life is a divorce. Filing for divorce requires you to go through some very painful things, the least of which is talking to divorce attorneys. You need to collect financial documents, split your assets, maybe even purchase new things as you move out, and the worst of all, deal with custody related issues if you have children.
All of these more practical things have to be dealt with while you are emotionally at your lowest. You are losing a large part of your life, whether it be the partnership, or even the dreams and goals that you had thought you would achieve together. There is a profound sense of grief, anger, loss and even rejection at this time.
However, there is life after a painful divorce, and it may be extremely difficult to make the transition, but the transition can be made, and life can be wonderful again.
Here are a few things you need to remember about starting a new life after divorce:
A New Beginning.
Think of this stage of your life as a new beginning. It is a transition to the next phase of your life and remember that new beginnings are never easy.
It’s Okay to Grieve for What You Have Lost.
Your marriage may not have been all bad. And it’s okay to grieve for the good times and memories that you had. In fact, according to psychologists, grieving for these times is a healthy way of letting go of the past so that you can embrace your new future.
Let those feelings move through you, and then let them go, and move on. The worst thing you can do is bottle up your feelings – it will only make the grieving process harder and longer. It may even stop you from moving on.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help.
Sometimes the grief is so immense that you cannot go through it alone. At that time, it is absolutely okay to ask for help. Reach out to a counsellor who can help you work through your loss. Ask your friends and family for support at this time.
Focus on the Positive.
Work through your grief and move on to what you have now. Focus on the positive and practice gratitude. Do not paralyze yourself by dwelling on what you don’t have; look at what you do and appreciate it.
Give Yourself Some Love.
Don’t forget to love yourself during this painful time. While many of us believe that the best way to get over a divorce is to keep as busy as possible, this attitude can lead to even more stress. It is best to make time for yourself. Do something special for yourself, even if it is for just 10 minutes a day. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, a simple walk, or reading a book you have meant to for some time, or taking a relaxing bath.
Forgive Yourself.
Forgive yourself for what has happened. People tend to blame themselves when they go through such painful separations, especially if they did not want the divorce. Remember, both parties share the blame, and it’s okay if the relationship did not work out.
Follow Your Dreams
A lot of times, when we enter into a relationship, we put our personal aspirations on the back burner. Well, now is the time to relook at those dreams and bring them back to life.
Time has a way of healing you, so what seems incredibly painful at this time will ease out slowly. And one day, you will emerge stronger and better.
