Relationships

Planning for Life After Divorce

It takes a lot of time for the feeling to sink in that you are not going to be with the person you married. You always thought that marriage was a commitment to live together forever. The thought of living alone once again can be intimidating and it is bound to give you cold feet. However, it is better to stay alone than with the wrong person.

Getting accustomed to divorced life can be very challenging. Here are a few ways to make it relatively easier to deal with.

Prioritize Yourself

Your partner may have been the center of your universe until now, but it is time that you start putting yourself above others. Give yourself enough attention and practice self-assessment and self-love. You can resume the activities and indulgences that you had to stop because of your responsibilities of married life. In case you wanted to take a course, or indulge in a creative business, this is the time to consider starting it.

Protect Your Finances

Taking care of finances might not have been your responsibility in your marriage, but after the divorce, it should be your priority. Money is important for your survival, and you need to make sure that you have enough after the divorce to keep up with your lifestyle.

An often overlooked part of divorce is what happens with a pension or other form of retirement plan. This is where a specialized QDRO attorney comes in to help you navigate this part of the divorce process. It is suggested that you get the process started before your divorce is finalized, even though QDRO attorneys can help after the divorce as well.

You need to start to keep a track of your incomes, expenditures, and assets. It will help you keep a tab on how much you can afford to spend. If you were not employed before the divorce, it is highly suggested that you find a source of income. Not only will that ensure your financial independence, but it will also keep your mind occupied.

Let Go

Unless you learn to let go and realize that your marriage is over, you will not be able to move on and be happy. The sooner you realize it, the better you will feel. If you hold on to the resentments of the past, you will never be able to stop thinking where you went wrong.

Holding on to the past will only prove detrimental to your emotional well-being. It is not natural to get over your marriage in a day or two, so take your time. But don’t take too long otherwise you will lose precious days over something that is not going to come back to you. It is undeniable that you will be reminded of certain memories that you had with your partner, but it is also important to remember that there is a good reason why the marriage is over.

If you feel that you are having a very hard time letting go, and it is affecting your emotional or psychological health, you should seek professional help. Depending on the degree of your stress, you can consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Travel More

Traveling can be therapeutic and help you get used to your new freedom. People often feel that traveling might make them miss their ex even more, which might happen a fair few times during the trip. But overall you will feel a lot of relief from the built-up stress you had to face during the divorce.

Plan a trip with a close friend or a group of friends. That way you will not feel lonely and you will get emotional support in case you need it. It can also be an opportunity to reconnect with old friends.

If you have children, you can take a trip with them and have some quality time with them. It can also boost the morale of your children since they will be perturbed by the divorce as well. This might be a good time to discuss how their life might be affected by the divorce. You should also discuss any custody arrangements you might have made. But remember to be as gentle as possible and make sure they see the positive side.

Life after the divorce might seem tough at first. But slowly you will get over it and start to enjoy your life once again. Remember that life is also about getting second chances, so give love another chance and you might find the right person this time. Fingers crossed!

A post by Kidal D. (4588 Posts)

Kidal D. is author at LeraBlog. The author's views are entirely their own and may not reflect the views and opinions of LeraBlog staff.

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