Why Tinder is Awful for Serious Singles

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gt35g35When Sean Rad and his friends invented Tinder in 2012, they claimed they didn’t know what the app was intended for. They said they were disappointed when people began using it as a hookup app, but most people believe Tinder was always intended for promiscuous users.

Plenty of people enjoyed using Tinder for quick hookups, but it has been far more disappointing for people that want more than a one night stand with a total stranger. My friend’s sister is a single mom tried using Tinder to meet a guy that would be a good father to her son, but wasn’t pleased with the few guys she met that actually wanted something vaguely resembling a committed relationship.

It’s arguably been even worse for sex addicts. It has fueled their addiction and driven many of them into therapy to conquer their insatiable appetite for easy sex.

Both Sex Addicts and People Seeking Serious Relationships Have Problems with Tinder

Whatever the founders’ intentions were, Tinder has undoubtedly become a hookup app. Few people use it with the intention of starting a serious relationship. In fact, 42% of users are already in a relationship and 30% are married.

While there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with meeting people for NSA relationships, some people are legitimately addicted to casual sex. A couple of weeks ago, Melkorka Licea of the New York Post wrote a very informative piece about the turmoil the app has created for young sex addicts, such as 27-year old Cindy from Bushwick.

“I’m super boy crazy, so it wasn’t surprising I got obsessed with Tinder really fast,” Cindy stated. “I get off on the high of matching with someone, meeting them and sleeping with them.”

While Tinder hookups are thrilling for Cindy, she also finds that they have worsened her sexual addiction. She feels a stronger longing for sex than ever, which can be very distressing.

Tinder hasn’t only plagued sex addicts in the United States. Rosin Burke, a young woman from Dublin, Ireland, says she gave up Tinder for Lent and found it was very difficult at the beginning. This forced her to confront her addiction.

“There was a part of me just counting down the days left (all 25 of them) until I could return to my beloved Tinder, but there was also a much more rational, sensible part of me that realised this was probably good for me and would benefit my character in the long run.”

I have personally spoken with two people in my own life that feel the same way. One of them was a devout Catholic and never realized they were prone to sexual addictions until they began experimenting with the dating app.

As problematic as Tinder can be for people with sexual addictions, it is just as bad for people seeking long-term relationships, just for a different reason. My friend Allison manages a dating blog and recently wrote a post for men trying to find a girlfriend online.

Allison states that neither men seeking a serious relationship rarely have good luck on Tinder.

“Part of the problem with Tinder for relationship-minded singles is obviously its reputation as a hookup site, but it goes deeper than that,” Allison states. “Tinder doesn’t have profile fields to easily tell what people are looking for. Since most people don’t specify their relationship goals in their profiles, it’s virtually impossible to tell who wants a relationship and who just wants to meet for a quickie.”

Traditional Dating Sites Tend to Work Better

Dating apps like Tinder have primarily been used for hookups. For people struggling to overcome sexual addictions, it can be like an alcoholic working as a bartender.

They can be equally frustrating for people like my friend’s sister, who want a long-term, monogamous relationship.

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