Ah, married life. A life full of bliss and eternal happiness, right? It’s a fairy-tale. Or, at least, that’s what we are all led to believe. The truth is, having a happily married life isn’t as easy as saying “I do.”
Blending two lives together can be difficult at first, especially when it comes to blending your finances, remaining emotionally connected, and communicating regularly. The good news is that once you find your rhythm as a newly married couple you will never forget it. No matter if you’re newlyweds or have been married for decades, there is always something to learn about marriage.
When couples don’t take the time to really get to know one another before tying the knot it can make married life feel more like a battleground than a happily ever after. Here are the three most common challenges married people experience.
Money Troubles in Marriage
Finances are a big part of merging two lives together, and it’s often a stressful topic of conversation. Money matters can be awkward to discuss, especially if debts are involved or if your partner doesn’t budget in the same way as you do. You must be able to trust your partner in all aspects of life, including how they handle their finances. Here are some of the most common money problems that affect married life.
Yours, Mine, or Ours?
Do you both work? Will you merge your bank accounts after you are married? Is your spouse careful with money? How will you split the bills? These are stressful questions that you must answer after getting married. Deciding when and how the money is to be spent is something both couples should discuss in great detail.
When you marry your partner, their endless company isn’t the only thing you welcome into your life. When you unite legally, you also take on any debt that your partner has accrued. Loans for cars, university, or credit card debt can all become a notch on your financial bedpost.
Having someone else’s debts on your shoulders can put a heavy burden on your new marriage. Be sure to disclose any pending debts with your spouse before you hit the altar. This way you can discuss a proper plan to take care of your debts.
Intimacy Challenges in Married Life
Intimacy is a huge part of happily married life, and it lies far beyond the bedroom. Feeling sexually satisfied is important, but so is emotional intimacy. These are both aspects of marriage that, when left unattended, can lead to serious problems in the future. Here are just some of the intimate challenges you may run into in married life.
Having a Satisfying Sex Life
One of the challenges of married life lies in the bedroom. It is important for couples to have open communication, especially about sexual matters.
Being candid with your partner is a sure-fire way to teach how your body works and what you will need in order to orgasm. It also makes it clear how often you would like to be intimate with one another. Take your time with one another in order to give the best pleasure possible.
The longer you are together, the more your tastes may change. Be open and honest about your fantasies, kinks, and be open to trying new things. Many couples keep the spark alive in the bedroom by being adventurous with their sex life, using toys, making out like teenagers, and having regular foreplay sessions
Not Making Time for One Another
Of course, you cannot be intimate together if you don’t make time for one another. Time management is important for remaining intimate in your marriage, especially if you are starting a family or if you both work full-time.
If you do not make time for one another your bond will weaken and there will be cracks in your marriage. You need to put your partner first in order to maintain a happy, healthy relationship.
Scheduling sex or a date night may not sound like the most romantic thing ever, but many couples who mark “date night” every week on the calendar report higher relationship satisfaction and increased sexual satisfaction in their marriage.
Not Fostering Emotional Intimacy
Creating emotional intimacy is about more than sex. This can be a challenge in a marriage when couples don’t make time for one another. When emotional intimacy wanes, couples feel less inclined to trust or show empathy for one another.
Practicing a weekly date night, wherein both spouses set aside time to “date” one another. Ideas for a date night include going out to dinner, playing card games with a glass of wine, or doing some other bonding activity like going to the gym or taking up a class together.
These dates help you create moments of emotional intimacy. That is, being vulnerable and connected with your partner on an intimate level.
Physical and Emotional Infidelity
Infidelity is a common plague to a happily married life. An emotional affair is classified as an affair of the heart, one where sex does not occur. While opinions vary from couple to couple, many find an emotional affair to be far more hurtful than one that is strictly physical in nature.
A lack of sexual or emotional satisfaction in the marriage, seeking validation, boredom, and falling out of love are all common reasons for couples to cheat. Regardless of the type of affair, infidelity is one of the most common reasons for divorce.
A Lack of Communication
There will be trouble in your marriage if you cannot voice your wants and needs when you use disagreements as an excuse to attack one another’s character, or if you go silent when you should be speaking.
Work on talking to one another regularly and staying calm when uncomfortable topics arise. After all, communicating is how you bond, how you empathize with one another, and how you will keep your relationship healthy.
Joining two lives together is bound to create a few bumps in the road at first. There are many issues that come into play, such as intimacy, finances, and a lack of communication. However, there are no problems so big that they will stand in your way of having a happily married life.