Relationships

Why Having A Break Before Trying Reconciling A Relationship Can Help

happy relationhipSome people try to get back with their ex very quickly after they have split up. They may do this because they desperately want them back or because they are afraid that they will find someone else. However, there are some advantages to waiting a while before you do try to fix things.

Time To Calm Down

It is important to make sure that both of you get time to calm down. If you try to reconcile things while both of you are still upset or angry then it could be more difficult. It is wise to therefore wait a while. Try to leave enough time for you to be calm and hopefully for your partner to be as well, so that you can have a civil conversation without getting easily upset.

Time To Forget The Bad Things

Nasty things may have been said just before you split up by both of you and it is good to wait a while so that you have time for that not to be at the forefront of your mind. Make sure that you leave enough time so that you are feeling better about things as well because it can be easy to argue about what happened in the past, if it is still clear in your mind.

Time To Miss The Person

It can be good to leave enough time so that you miss each other. You may feel glad to have some time apart from each other so that you can think things through and they may just annoy you so much you do not want to see them. However, if you leave some time, you will begin to miss things about each other.

Time To Forgive

It is important to make sure that you both have enough time to forgive each other. After a nasty break up then there are likely to have been a lot of nasty things said which you will need to try to forget about. They may have said hurtful things and so may you have done and so you will need to take some time to forgive yourselves and each other for those words.

The actual amount of time you wait can depend on how often you saw each other. If you were living together you may start to miss each other quite quickly but if you did not see each other every day then it may take longer. You will need at least a few weeks to calm down and forgive. Forgetting the bad parts of the relationship may be even more difficult if things were not good over a long period of time.

It can be useful to spend the time apart thinking about what went wrong and why. Consider what could be done to improve things and also remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place and think about the good times. Make a list of happy memories so that when you do get in touch with them, you will be able to have some happy things to talk about.

Nathan Joseph is the Founder and Editor at Lovetoattract.com - a site which offers premium dating, relationship and love advice. Follow for more amazing relationship resources at @lovetoattract.

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