Is love better and sweeter the second time around?
According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), second marriages are more likely to fail than first marriages. But does this mean you should never remarry again?
While data provided for second marriages may be true, the divorce rate difference between the first and second marriages may not be that far from each other. In addition, statistics doesn't affirm that getting married the second time will only end up in breaking up. In fact, some experts believe that couples who are taking the vows for the second time are more likely to find happiness.
But regardless of statistics, marriage has its own share of anxiety and challenges. If you're thinking about tying the knot the second time, but worried that you might end up failing again, here are tips that will help you make your second marriage work out.
- Give yourself time to move from your past before you decide on starting a new one.
Let's face it: There are people who rush headlong and immediately start a new relationship after a breakup. This is commonly known as a "rebound relationship." There are many reasons why people bounce back immediately after ending a relationship. Some are not comfortable with being alone, while others want to have financial security. But no matter what the reason is, a rebound relationship is a big no-no. A lot of relationships end up quickly because the ghost of past relationship keeps on hunting them.
Before you decide to remarry again, ensure first that you have totally moved on from your first marriage.
- Determine what went wrong from your last marriage.
There are many possible reasons why a marriage falls apart. Probably, one of the common issues is jealousy and guilt. Keeping secrets and being still involved with your past relationship can definitely start a serious fight between you and your partner. If this kind of issue has been the reason why your first marriage didn't last, then it will likely happen again in your second marriage — unless you do something about it.
The best thing is to examine what happened in your past relationship and determine what went wrong. The moment you realized that it's your fault, admit it, so you'll avoid committing the same mistakes again. The more you accept and understand about why your first marriage ended (although it's completely the fault of the other person), the more you will be able to develop strategies to have a lasting second marriage.
- Communicate with each other.
One key for a lasting relationship is good communication. Being connected is essential in keeping the love and passion burning. Don't let a day pass without expressing your affection for your partner. A 5-minute discussion about how your day went will certainly keep your bond more intact.
Also, don't forget to share your goals, interests, and secrets. This way, you'll be able to know each other at a deeper level, which is a good thing for making your relationship last.
- Put some effort and make each other happy all the time.
Another key to a happy and lasting marriage? Don't let the romance die. The problem with some people, especially with men, is courtship stops the minute the woman accepts their proposal. But that's a mistake. Although you both know that you love and care for each other, it doesn't mean that there is no need to show each other you care.
Never stop courting and never stop making each other feel special. Continue doing the nice and sweet things that made you fell for each other. And remember to say nice things to each other all the time. When you say yes to the marriage, you promised to be that person that would love and care for her or him forever, and you should not forget that.
- Comfort each other - know the value of physical intimacy.
Keep your marriage life alive by making each other feel wanted and needed. Don't forget to kiss, hug, hold, cuddle, and touch each other. Doing some playful acts and keeping your sex life full of spice is also a great way to make your relationship stronger.
It's natural to feel afraid when it comes to marrying again. But it's important to know that not all second relationships are doomed to fail. Just be positive. As long you follow the tips above, you will certainly make your marriage last.
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