Every couple experiences the feeling of being in a rut in the bedroom from time to time and if your relationship has been stuttering in recent times, perhaps it's time that you jumpstarted it once again. You should never let your relationship drift along, if you experience a lack of interest when it comes to your sex life, ensure that you are taking all the necessary steps to jumpstart your sex life.
For some things in life repetition is great, but when it comes to your sex life, it can be the final nail in the coffin for some men and women. Couples in long-term relationships are the most likely to suffer from monotonous or non-existent sex lives, which is why you should do all that it takes to keep the sparks flying in the bedroom.
If you feel as if you're simply going through the motions in your sex life, here are a couple of tips to jumpstart it, and make sex fun and exciting once again.
Relax a little
Too much stress and a hectic lifestyle can lead to low libido, which can affect your quality of life as well. Relaxing enhances your sexual feelings and also allows you to have more energy for sex in the bedroom. If you're feeling burnt out and too tired, you should take a break from your hectic schedule and relax a little. It could be just the tonic you need to jumpstart your sex life.
Pressure is never a good thing, and in the bedroom it can lead to a non-existent sex life. Some couples think of sex as a responsibility and a chore that they have to do in order to meet the needs of their partner. Sex shouldn't be viewed as a task, but rather, as an enjoyable activity, where both you and your partner can have fun and be comfortable with each other.
Keep in mind that you need to solve other sex problems such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or problems achieving orgasm to relieve the pressure in your sexual relationship.
Be more Confident
As a man, you need to be more confident and commanding in the bedroom, rather than playing a meek or submissive role. Many women like to be controlled and dominated in the bedroom, and you should have more swagger and confidence whilst having sex. It may even bring out a wilder and more sexual side of your partner that you have never seen or experienced before.
Communicate with each other
It's ideal to talk to each other openly about sex, since open communication with your partner will lead to better and more engaging sex. It also allows you to find out more about what your partner likes in the bedroom, and you can also learn about each other's sexual fantasies as well.
Keep in mind that sex isn't always an easy topic for women to discuss. Jacqui Olliver, a leading sexual technique expert, recommends that men approach the topic of sex with this following statement, which effectively opens up the line of communication without making her feel pressured: "I want to please you in every way I canâ€¦ so if there's somethingâ€¦"
Jacqui also says, "Men with sexual problems including weak erections and ejaculation problems are constantly paranoid about their ability to perform and this causes a mutual feeling of disconnection during sex. From a female perspective, if her partner loses his erection she's inclined to take it personally and assumes he is no longer attracted to her. What's really happening is that he's confused, stressed and anxious that his manhood is failing-he knows it's not her fault, but he has no idea what he did wrong or how to rectify that problem."
In this case, Jacqui recommends that he takes this approach: "I'm not sure why this is happening but I do know it's not your fault. It may only be a temporary problem, but it's really stressful. Let's get help to resolve this issue so it doesn't come between us."
Says Jacqui, "Sexual programs by default, cause a great deal of tension and stress. In the long run, these problems must be dealt with to ensure fulfillment of both partners and the stability of the relationship."
Being flexible in the bedroom can be a major asset and make sex incredibly fun. However, you should also focus on emotional flexibility as well. Show your partner some tenderness during sex and watch as they shower you with compassion in the bedroom.
Do activities together
Sex can become boring if there is nothing exciting happening in your lives. You should make sure that you take the time out of your schedule to do fun activities together. Do something adventurous like going on an adventure-filled vacation or travel to an exotic destination to jumpstart your sex life.
Explore new parts of her body
The nipples and the vagina aren't the only sensitive areas of a woman's body. There are pleasure centers located all over the female body, and you should take the time to explore new parts of her body to find hers. Gently kiss her on the stomach, at the back of her neck or at the end of her back and pay attention to how she responds to you. If she arches towards you or moans softly take that as a: Yes I want more!
Be more spontaneous
When it comes to sex, you can never be too predictable, since it diminishes the excitement. You may decide to be more spontaneous as a couple and even try out different sex positions, whilst you can even try role playing to jumpstart your sex life. Just keep in mind that it's providing an emotional connection during sex which keeps her focused in the orgasm zone.
Talk dirty in public
Go to the park and lie on a blanket. Then gently whisper all of your sexual fantasies to one another and what you want to do to each other right now. It can spark sexual tension between the two of you, because you can't have sex at that moment. You won't be sorry, since it will lead to no holds barred sex when you get home. But BEWARE if a woman doesn't like dirty talk, she doesn't like dirty talk - so make sure you respect her needs on this subject or you may switch off her libido and she may quickly lose interest in having sex with you.
Remember how great your kisses felt at the beginning of the relationship? It was because you both kissed each other with more passion and desire back then. Bring that back into your relationship. Rather than giving her a small peck, give her a lingering passionate kiss and watch as the fire ignites once again between you.
Let foreplay linger
There is nothing that will jumpstart your sex life faster than oral sex during foreplay. Make sure that foreplay lasts for a long time, and actually take your time pleasing and teasing her. A great foreplay technique will drive her crazy and ensure that you're in for a wild night.