For some people, long distance relationships are a big no-no. However, for others, you can’t help who you fall in love with, especially if you both want to make a future together. In such cases, it is often a case of willpower to remain interested in someone you can’t see physically. Worse still is seeing those around you spending time with their partners in ways you can’t.
Though hard, there’s a brighter side to things if you pull through. Here are some things you need to know if you’re considering entering into a long distance relationship.
- You’ll have to put in more work
Any long distance relationship needs a solid base to survive. The key is, to be honest, trusting and open; there’s no other way around it. When you’re in different time zone, you’ll need to work out when and how best to communicate. Another important aspect is to make the other feel an integral part of your life without their being present. Find ways to make each other feel special. Put in twice the effort than you did before.
- Know when you’ll see each other next
Being in a relationship where you’re both not sure when you’ll see each other next is not only impractical but unfair. It is essential to establish how often you’ll be seeing each other and stick to it. Depending on airfare and your income, every six months to a year is the typical duration for most relationships. Despite the cost, it is a worthy investment to keep the relationship going. Request a quote form to help you budget. Remember, not every trip will be perfect, and that’s okay too.
- Text and call each other throughout the day
This point ties back into the importance of making the other person an integral part of your life. Always keeping in touch and letting each other know what’s going on throughout the day. If there’s something to celebrate, do it together. That is by far better than waiting until the end of the day to catch each other up. At this point, you’re both tired; fatigues drastically alter our moods and communicating in this state can cause friction. That in turn affects the quality of communication and could be detrimental to your relationship in the long run.
When in constant communication, couples tend to be more open. Studies have shown those in long-distance relationship have better or equal relationship quality than geographically close couples. Those apart stated experiencing greater intimacy because they had to disclose more of themselves than they would in person.
- Schedule regular video chat dates
Doesn’t matter what platform you pick but regularly scheduled time to spend together. Texting and calling are not enough to keep the relationship going. Seeing each other, as frequently as you can, helps bridge some of the distance you feel between each other. We communicate with our entire body, so this helps add depth to how you relate.
- Work on yourself
Part of being in a long-distance relationship is the ability to be honest not just with your partner but yourself as well. Are there aspects of yourself that you could be working on? One of the areas to explore is your self-esteem. Research shows that high self-esteem influences a relationship positively. It leads to increased levels of relationship satisfaction as compared to unions where one of both persons has low self-esteem.
- Think of the bigger picture
Just like with anything important in life (think health and savings), having a long-term goal is vital. You need a definite goal to keep you going, and for the most part, it is marriage. When you choose this perspective, it helps you sail through difficult times. Hard times are inevitable in any relationship so knowing ‘it’s for a short while’ helps you navigate better and maintain a positive outlook.
- it’s been done before
With the rise of long-distance marriages, there are 3.9 million Americans over the age of 18 years who are married live apart for various reasons. A high number is apart against the wishes; one of the spouses is incarcerated, serving in the armed forces or in a nursing home. Another reason for this living arrangement is financial; after the 2008 financial crisis the number of couples in long-distance marriages went up.
The survival of these unions is largely due to technological advancements and cheaper flights than in recent times. The partners are also usually working toward creating a comfortable retirement for them where they can finally live together
No matter the circumstance, if you’re both committed, your long distance relationship can and should succeed. As always, do things that work for you two- every relationship is unique and should be treated as such.