Relationships

Marrying a Second Time: What Is and Isn’t Allowed

Many myths surround what you can and cannot do when planning your second marriage. So many myths, in fact, you may find yourself feeling guilty for being lucky enough to have found love the second time around and saying yes to his proposal. While you need to do some things slightly different with your second marriage, there is no real need to fret and certainly no need to feel guilty. You can relish in the joy of your love as you begin your new life together and still have the wedding of your dreams.

Announcing Your Engagement

The desire to announce your upcoming nuptials is perfectly natural and acceptable. You are in love again and there is nothing wrong with wanting to let the world know this. However, you need to handle things slightly differently this time around, especially if you or your fiance have children. They must be the first to know; this changes their lives as you unite two families. Including them helps reduce any stress or anxiety as the transition takes place. Your parents are next, followed by your ex. You are introducing a new parental figure into the lives of the children you have together, and you owe them the courtesy of being one of the first to know. At this point you are free to place your announcement in the newspaper. You can word it one of two ways: you and your fiance can tell the world, or you can make it appear as if your children are announcing it to the community.

Paying for the Wedding

Do not expect your parents to pay for your second walk down the aisle, especially if your first trip was a huge extravaganza. You and your fiance should assume the responsibility for all costs no matter how small or large the event is. There is an exception to this rule, though. If you have relatives who offer to pay for a specific cost, or simply hand you a check, you do not have to turn it away. Accept this gift out of love and put it toward your expenses.

Say Yes to the Dress

One of the worst myths concerning second marriages is the color of the dress; can you wear white since you are no longer “pure”? Yes, you can. Your dress should not mimic that of your first wedding, though, and should compliment your style and figure now. The veil is another story. These should be reserved for first time brides, but this is not to say that you cannot wear a tiara or a crown.

To Shower or Not to Shower

Although a bridal shower is not unacceptable, do not expect or plan a traditional bridal shower. You and your fiance are already established in life, and chances are you already have all the household items you need. This being said, plan a small luncheon or dinner party with close friends and family. When sending out invitations, either state you do not want gifts, or ask them to donate to a specified charity in lieu of a wedding gift.

The Size of the Wedding

You can have a small, private affair or the wedding of the year. However, there are some rules of etiquette to keep in mind. You can have a beautiful church wedding, but if you are Catholic–a religion that does not accept or recognize divorce–you will have to settle for a nondenominational church to wed in.

If you would like to have a wedding party you can; however, second marriage etiquette typically allows for two witnesses: one for the bride and one for the groom. Additionally, if you are wondering about who gives you away, it is you. Your father only does this once. This is not to say that you and your fiance cannot walk down the aisle together, or that you cannot have your son walk with you.

As for guests, do not invite the same guests to your second wedding that you invited to your first. Your second marriage symbolizes a fresh start in your life and the people attending need to represent this as well. You can invite as many people as you wish as long as they are not repeat guests.

Hens Night Ideas

Here is where the fun begins. Hens night, as wikipedia.org explains, is a term used to describe the party held for a woman who is about to get married. It is commonly known by this term in the United Kingdom, Australia and Ireland, but is better known as a bachelorette party in the United States. So are you entitled to this fun twice in your life? Yes you are. The type of fun is completely up to you. Maybe choose an activity with the girls you know your fiance will never want to participate in, such as a day at the spa or going to the theater.

Brunch, either at your favorite restaurant or in the comfort of a friend’s home, is yet another option. You want to look your best the day of your wedding, so a relaxing get together is just what the doctor ordered.

On the other hand, you may want to relieve the stress of planning your upcoming day and party hard, especially if you didn’t do this the first time around. Partying hard can mean everything from strip clubs to the hottest dance joints in town. Rent a limo and party til the sun comes up. These are just a few of the many hens night ideas available throughout the world, whether it is a hens night in Sydney, Las Vegas or Paris.

Although there are some game changers when it comes to marrying the second time, none are so tough and strict that they take away from the joy of the moment or the life you have to look forward to. You simply need to have a little more tact and respect than the first time for the people in your life, but the goal is still the same: a fairy-tale ending.

A post by MayaWeber (9 Posts)

MayaWeber is author at LeraBlog. The author's views are entirely his/her own and may not reflect the views and opinions of LeraBlog staff.

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