The psychological and scientific communities speculate a lot on this topic but offer few realistic answers about the causes of homosexual attraction. Although a lot of research has been done in recent years about the causes of homosexuality, a clear answer is slow to appear; many hypotheses regarding the causes have been put forward, but none have been able to give a clear answer. However, the experience of specialists in the field agrees on two perspectives: a biological one (which includes but is not limited to hormonal and genetic factors) and a developmental one (related to development, and life history, and includes psychological, emotional, and relational factors).

APA (American Psychological Association), in an official statement, admits that: “there is no consensus regarding the causes of homosexuality. However, we observed eight predisposing factors that are common in the history of homosexual men”.

Predisposing factors of homosexual relationships in men

1. Unhealthy relationships with women in childhood

Women (mothers) can hurt baby boys by suffocating, criticizing, controlling, and ignoring appropriate boundaries. In adulthood, some boys who have suffered such injuries develop unhealthy relationships with women, in which they either keep them too far away or cling to them too much, disrupting their ability to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex.

To understand the problems that so many gay men have with women, we need to start looking at the relationship experiences that create these problems. Women—including mothers, sisters, extended family members, teachers, nannies, and others—can hurt a boy in a variety of frightening ways. I can overwhelm him with attention, suffocating him with too much love or interest. They can control, dominate, and overprotect him, leaving him feeling emasculated (castrated) and incapable. They can be too close to him by making him their confidant, thus dragging him into their problems with other men, including conflicts with their father, grandfather, or brother.

Also, women can criticize a boy for his weaknesses, causing him feelings of shame, insecurity, and self-doubt. Sometimes women make them feel ashamed of their masculine features, of being male. Instead, they may praise him exaggeratedly, unrealistically, or insincerely. They can feminize him by using him in their play as another girl – sometimes dressing him up in dresses or even telling him he’s a girl. Some women, especially mothers, sometimes rely on the boy emotionally or even physically, demanding that he take care of them, making him feel possessed and used, and guilting him if he tries to be independent.

By not respecting the limits and standards of decency, women can sexualize their relationship with a boy. They may leave bedroom or bathroom doors open while they change, bathe, or use the toilet, stay indoors in their underwear, or even undress. I can sexualize him by commenting on his body or talking to him about their sex life. Occasionally, women abuse boys by engaging them in sexual behavior.

Experiences like these lead some boys to have unhealthy relationships with women as adults. From this perspective, four major categories of unhealthy relationships were observed: oppositional, avoidant, entrenched, and comfortable. Some homosexual individuals present in their relationship with women feelings, impulses, and behaviors from more than one of these categories.

Those who are oppositional in their relationships with women tend to reject them and keep them at a distance. At the base are the feelings of contempt, disgust, or even hatred or they can appear when they feel threatened and in danger. Some gay men are aware of their contempt for women. In others, negative feelings towards women may manifest only in behaviors and thoughts they are unaware of. And some may be totally unaware of their opposition.

Men who become avoidant in their relationships with women tend to experience feelings of fear and anxiety, which can cause them to stay away or simply feel apathetic and indifferent to women, treating them as if they don’t exist.

The distance that appears through an avoidant and oppositional relationship can block the natural capacity of adult men for attraction to the opposite sex. When a man has been sexually abused by a woman, the revulsion that often results from the experience of female sexuality appearing too early in his life and in such a repulsive way can contribute to this distancing.

Those who develop close relationships with women feel the need to ask for their approval or are dependent on their support. They can subordinate themselves to women, allowing them to be controlled by them. Dependency can also go the other way, where an elderly mother or other disabled woman is dependent on a man in need of help, in a way that disrupts his ability to individuate and live his own life. The man may be forced to maintain this situation by enormous feelings of guilt. If he tries to free himself from the complicated situation in which he finds himself, he is overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt and gives in.

Those gay men who develop comfortable relationships with women tend to seek women as a source of security and comfort. In this case, “comfortable” means something more than feeling at ease with women, which implies an over-familiarity and over-resonance with them, sharing interests and future projects, or feeling like “one of the girls “.

Close and comfortable relationships with women are ways in which they cling too much to the feminine. Being feminized by girls and women in childhood, the feminine is even more installed inside the man, where it does not belong. A healthy distancing from women and femininity appears to be vital to the development of male sexuality and is essential to heterosexuality, as we will describe in the next section.

2. Distorted concepts of sexuality

Unhealthy childhood relationships with women can distort a man’s view of the female gender, affect how he sees himself related to women, affect his sense of masculinity, and prevent the natural development of a sense of belonging to a certain gender. This can make the individual believe that the opposite sex is not attractive and complementary to him.

In addition to generating unhealthy relationships with women, unhealthy childhood experiences with them can distort a man’s concept of the female sex. Many of those with same-sex attraction develop opinions about women that are not accurate for women as a whole. For example, they may see all women as strong, dominant, or in control; or perhaps as degrading, which emasculate (castrate) and degrade. They may see them as possessive, manipulative, and demanding. Or they may perceive women in general as stupid, powerless, or just more trouble than they’re worth—they’re sulking, complaining, and protesting all the time.

On the other hand, they can idealize women, considering them more intelligent than men, unrealistically pure, or even sacred. They may see women as protectors or as the person who provides everything the family needs. Or they may consider the role and life of women to be preferable because they are more suited to their own personality.

Unhealthy childhood experiences with women can also create distorted self-concepts in relation to them. A gay man may see himself as helpless and weak compared to women, or he may perceive himself as unwanted, vulnerable, and inferior to them. He may feel small and unable to meet the demands of an intimate relationship with the opposite sex. At the other extreme, he may believe himself superior to women – that he is much better than the “weaker” sex.

For many homosexuals, women were the predominant influence during their growing up period. Often women were their main role models and companions, while the men in their lives had little impact.

Men who grew up in such circumstances often identify with, resonate with, and are familiar with women. If they consider the role and life of women preferable, they might want to be women. This may be especially true if gender shaming has severed their connection with their own masculine identity or rejected the idea of ​​being a man. If this combination of problems is strong enough, a man may see himself as a “woman stuck in a man’s body.” More often, he probably has a clear recognition of his biological sex but identifies more with the opposite sex.

The fact that they identify and feel very familiar with women can have a significant impact on a sense of gender. The term “gender” refers to the state or condition of having two sexes that are naturally distinct. In addition to anatomical differences, men and women differ in many other ways. For example, we are different in the way we relate, feel emotions, and communicate; in our perceptions, thinking styles, and values. To develop a sense of gender, a boy must feel masculine in ways that contrast with the femininity of girls and women. By identifying and being familiar with women, this contrast disappears.

Distorted views of femininity, along with distorted perceptions of himself in relation to women, can prevent a boy from later developing a sense that girls and women are complementary to his masculinity. He may be unable to recognize the favorable relationship that may exist between the two sexes in which the natural features of each satisfy, balance, and perfect the other. He may consider women undesirable and worthless to him, and that he could not offer anything of value to a woman. From this perspective, women don’t look attractive.

Heterosexuality seems to depend on gender and complementarity. Men need to see women who are different from them – excitingly different, exotic, and mysterious – as an opportunity for a mutually satisfying and beneficial relationship. Most gay men are not sexually attracted to women, probably because they have experienced at least some of the problems described above. In contrast, I noticed that gay men who did not have these problems often felt attracted to women.

Consider this statement by Daryl Bem, professor of psychology at Cornell University:

“The central proposition of the EBE (Exotic Becomes Erotic) theory is that individuals can become erotically attracted to a class of individuals from whom they felt different in childhood…”

Bem, Daryl, PhD (2000). The exotic becomes erotic: interpreting the biological correlates of sexual orientation. Archives of sexual behavior, vol. 29, no. 6.

3. The feeling of incongruity with one’s own gender

Being incongruous with what a man believes his gender requires can create a psychologically unstable situation, resulting in subconscious compensation through fixations or attraction to men and masculinity.

Many gay men report that, as children, they saw themselves as being in conflict with or not fitting into what they believed a boy should be. Essentially, their view of other men was, “I’m not like them and they’re not like me, I’m different.” This situation is called “gender incongruence”. While most boys and men may occasionally feel that they are not masculine enough for their ideal, boys who experience gender incongruence spend a lot of time with these thoughts. They constantly feel that they lack the vital qualities or capacities that they consider essential to masculinity and that there is no way to obtain them.

Gender incongruence is a subjective experience, meaning it is based entirely on individual perspectives. It is usually self-aware, although some men are not aware of how incongruous they perceive themselves. It seems essential for all people to feel congruent with their own gender. Men must consider themselves suitable for the traits that they consider to belong to the male sex and must feel capable of fulfilling the roles that he has in society.

When an individual feels incongruous with their gender, they may experience a painful conflict between what they think they should be and what they think they can be. The inability to resolve this situation could lead to compensating the unconscious most directly, he may be intensely attracted to or fixated on men and masculinity in an unconscious attempt to somehow internalize it. Many gay men are believed to be in this situation.

Consider these statements by renowned mental health scientists: “A history of sexual identity pathology (including effeminacy and extreme chronic unmasculinity) is much more prevalent among men who are predominantly or exclusively homosexual than among men who are predominantly or exclusively heterosexual. The combined results of numerous investigations have led to the conclusion that childhood gender identity disorders/gender disorders are associated with predominant or exclusive homosexuality in adulthood. The absence of such disruption diminishes the likelihood that a boy will become a man who is exclusively or predominantly homosexual.”

Friedman, Richard, MD. (1988). Male Homosexuality: A Contemporary Psychoanalytic Perspective. Yale University Press. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

“As our research has shown for both men and women, homosexual subjects recall behavior with the opposite sex in childhood to a greater extent than heterosexual subjects….

Early intersex behavior may more easily predict homosexuality in men than in women. Because a strong empirical link has been established between childhood sexual behavior and sexual orientation for men, both prospectively and retrospectively, it is likely to be genuine.”

Bailey, J. Michael, PhD, and Zucker, Kenneth, PhD. (1995). Childhood sexual behavior and sexual orientation: a conceptual analysis. Developmental psychology, vol. 31, no. 1. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

“Despite the provocative and morally incorrect nature of this statement, it fits the evidence. In fact, it may be the most consistent, well-documented, and significant finding in all of sexual orientation research and perhaps in all of human psychology.

Hamer, Dean, PhD, and Copeland, Peter. (1994) The science of desire: The search for the homosexual gene and the biology of behavior. Simon & Schuster. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

“The most frequent reasons given by gay and lesbian men for feeling different from the same sex in childhood were atypical sexual preferences and behaviors – gender non-conformity. In fact, childhood gender conformity or nonconformity was not only the strongest but also the only significant child predictor of later sexual orientation for both males and females.”

Bem, Daryl, PhD (2000). “The exotic becomes erotic: interpreting the biological correlates of sexual orientation. Archives of sexual behavior, vol. 29, no. 6. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

4. Problems in relationships with other men

During childhood, some boys withdraw from other men because of negative experiences with them, negative stereotypes about men, and the fear of being perceived as strange. This leaves the normal need for same-sex connection unfulfilled.

Painful, frightening, or alienating experiences with fathers, brothers, peers, and other men can cause boys to withdraw from men in general, prevent normal same-sex bonding, and create feelings of not belonging to the same sex. This can be caused by abuse, harassment, and bullying; through rejection, non-inclusion, and alienation from other men, or through a profound experience of incompatibility with the men around him.

Feminine observations and criticisms of the men in a boy’s life can make him despise men, leading to negative stereotypes that alienate him from other men and contribute to his alienation from the male sex. Such stereotypes are easily perpetuated because he has little interaction with other men to change his mind.

Gender incongruence can also contribute to disaffiliation from the same sex, causing the boy to avoid other men out of a sense of being different or strange. The boy may fear that if the other boys get to know him, they will see that he is strange and reject him. Likewise, same-sex disaffiliation can reinforce gender incongruity, because the less time a boy spends with other men, the less masculine traits he will adopt. Gender incongruence and disengagement can become a mutually reinforcing negative cycle.

These negative experiences with men lead some boys to form unhealthy relationships with them in adulthood. Four large categories of unhealthy relationships were observed: oppositional, detached, inauthentic, and those with exacerbated needs. Boys who become oppositional show rejection, anger, or disgust toward other men, which is a defensive wall against reconnection. Boys who become detached tend to be disinterested, uninvolved, and distant from other men. Boys who develop inauthentic relationships tend to be anxious and shallow with other men, presenting a friendly false self that protects a fearful self within. Boys with exacerbated needs are obsessed with men’s intimacy and may be dependent on their attention, affection, and approval.

But same-sex connection is a basic need. So if a boy is cut off from other men, his natural needs for same-sex interaction, affection, affirmation, and resonance will not be met. Unsatisfied needs usually turn into a desire for male attention, closeness, and love.

Consider the following statements by two psychiatrists:

“Every child has a healthy need to positively identify with their same-sex parent, have same-sex friends, a positive body image, and a confident sexual identity. Homosexual feelings can arise when these needs are not properly met.

The adolescent’s unsatisfied needs intertwine with emerging sexual feelings and produce same-sex attraction.

Fitzgibbons, Richard P., MD, Letter to the Washington Times, January 24, 1997. (http://borngay.procon.org/).

“The following situation is one of the many developmental paths that can lead to homosexuality, but a common one… The boy remembers a ‘painful’ mismatch between what he needed and wanted and what his father gave him. Perhaps most people would agree that his father was very distant and ineffective… The lack of a happy, warm, and intimate relationship with his father led to the boy withdrawing, a “defensive detachment” to protect himself…

Although he has “defensively detached” from his father, the boy still silently carries within him a terrible longing for the warmth, love, and embrace of his father’s arms that he did not have and cannot have… In adolescence, sexual needs appear and combine with this intense need for intimacy and masculine warmth. He begins to develop homosexual passions…

As he matures (especially in our culture, where premature, extramarital sexual experiences are sanctioned and even encouraged), the young man, now an adolescent, begins to experience homosexual activity… At a certain point, he succumbs to strong desires for love and begins to have voluntary homosexual experiences”.

Satinover, Jeffrey, MD. (July 1995). The complex interaction of the sexes and the environment: a model for homosexuality. Reported from the Annual Conference of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

5. Sexual conditioning

Sexual desire can be conditioned by correlating specific stimuli with sexual arousal. Male-male sexual abuse and early exposure to male pornography can create or intensify homosexual arousal for some boys.

In 1901, Ivan Pavlov, a Russian behavioral scientist, discovered that he could condition dogs to salivate in response to the sound of a bell. Dogs normally salivate when fed, so Pavlov used the sound of a bell while bringing food to the dog. After a while, he rang the bell without bringing food and found that he was still salivating. By associating the sound of the bell with food, Pavlov managed to transfer the physiological response of salivation from one stimulus (the food) to another stimulus (the bell). This process became known as “reflex conditioning” or “classical conditioning”.

People can be conditioned in the same way, creating strong associations between different stimuli. Most of us have experienced this phenomenon of associating a certain song with a certain time or place in our lives or associating a taste or smell with a person or experience from the past. Donald Hebb (1904-1985) made us understand this phenomenon even better with his research and theories about how the brain learns. He is known for the phrase “neurons that fire together wire together”, which means that when different neural networks in the brain are used at the same time, they create synaptic connections that can become permanent. According to his theory, this is how people acquire all skills and knowledge.

We believe that it is possible to become conditioned to respond sexually to others of the same sex. This can happen in at least three ways: through sexual abuse, childhood sexual games, and pornography.

During male-male sexual abuse, boys are simultaneously exposed to male stimuli (genitals, body, voice) and sexual stimulation. Also, during sexual experimentation and play with other boys, male stimuli and sexual stimulation are present. Given that many boys who are sexually abused by men or who have sex with boys are heterosexual as adults, it is clear that sexual abuse does not always condition boys to homosexuality. However, we have clear evidence that this sometimes happens. This is particularly evident among men whose adult patterns of sexual interest and behavior closely mirror their early sexual abuse or experimentation. An example would be a man who is exclusively attracted to men who look and smell like the man who abuses him, or a man who continues to seek sexual situations similar to those in which he first experienced sexual pleasure with neighborhood friends.

The effect of pornography on young boys may be somewhat more direct. Male or boy pornography places men in a sexual context. Some boys who view this pornography may automatically react with sexual feelings due to the presence of other predisposing factors in their lives, such as gender incongruence or same-sex disaffiliation. But boys who have no other predisposing factors respond to pornographic images with strong feelings of awe, curiosity, envy, or fear of being caught, and it may be possible that, in the highly sexualized context of pornography, these boys confuse these feelings with sexual arousal. Boys who watch pornography usually masturbate while watching it or while thinking about it afterward. This would lead to a stronger association between masculinity and sexual feelings.

Once learned, pleasurable sexual activities are enhanced as boys continue to engage in them. Behaviors that hide emotional distress are especially likely to be reinforced because boys resort to them again and again to relieve themselves. These men often say they used pornography and homosexual behavior to stop the pain and emotional suffering. Sexual arousal through male images can make a boy believe or confirm that he is homosexual or gay. It can become a known part of his identity.

6. Sexual abuse

In addition to its potential role in conditioning sexual arousal, sexual abuse can create or intensify gender incongruity, alienation from other men, and, if the perpetrator is a woman, fear or hatred of women. It can also create repetitive patterns of compulsive sexual behavior.

Sexual abuse occurs when a person uses another person to satisfy their own sexual need against their will or without their consent. It occurs when an older and stronger child engages a younger and weaker child in sexual activity. It also occurs when an adult engages a minor in sexual activity or exposes him to sexually explicit material or sexual language, with or without his consent.

Consent implies the ability and maturity to understand what is happening and the possible consequences. Since children do not really understand sexuality, they cannot give consent when an older person involves them in sexual behavior.

Some examples of sexual abuse include:

• – Exposure to explicit sexual discussions
• – Exposure by another person to sexually explicit material from magazines, television, video, and the Internet
• – Exposing a child to sexually stimulating behavior by older people, men, or women
• – Exposure to nudity or sexual behavior between other people – to see naked relatives, parents, or others having sex
• – To be touched intimately on the genitals or in other parts of the body
• – Asking or being forced to touch another person’s genitals
• – To ask or be forced to have sexual relations with another person

Sexual abuse can contribute to gender incongruity. Some boys who are sexually abused by men question their own sexuality. They know that men are supposed to like sex with women and so it becomes very confusing for them when a man seems to like having sex with them. This is especially confusing if they were sexually aroused during the abuse. Most boys who are sexually abused have enormous feelings of guilt and shame. For some, this shame attacks their sense of masculinity, making them feel inadequate as a boy.

Sexual abuse can contribute to disaffiliation from the same sex. Some sexually abused boys are afraid of men, angry and resentful towards them. They may lose trust in the father or an older brother because they do not feel protected. Depression, anxiety, shame, and low self-esteem, often generated by sexual abuse, can cause them to isolate themselves from normal activities with peers, and their gender incongruity can force them to avoid contact with other boys for fear of being seen as “strange”.

Sexual abuse can lead to compulsive and relational patterns. Some individuals who experience traumatic events or relationships during childhood will unconsciously create circumstances in their adult lives that will lead to very similar traumatic events or circumstances. Psychotherapists refer to these patterns as “repetition compulsions”. They can form in response to sexual abuse, resulting in adult sexual behavior that reflects the abuse. These repetition compulsions are believed to be an unconscious attempt by adults to master or gain control over childhood situations in which they had little or no control. It could also be an effort to resolve conflicting emotions around circumstances that have caused conflicting feelings, such as fear or shame, and sexual pleasure.

Although this pattern is not present exclusively in those with homosexual attraction, I have found this pattern in the sexual behavior of many people with whom I have worked.

If the perpetrator of the sexual abuse is a woman, the sexual abuse can create disinterest, disgust, fear, and hatred towards women. Overt sexual abuse of boys by women occurs only occasionally. Usually, women sexually abuse boys by dressing scantily leaving the bathroom door open, or talking about their sexual experiences.

Consider the following observations by Dr. Helen Wilson regarding the results of the long-term study on the effects of sexual abuse.

“Findings from this investigation provide tentative support for a relationship between childhood sexual abuse and same-sex sexual relationships, but only for men. In other words, men who were sexually abused as children are more likely to have sex with people of the same sex than men in the control group… The evidence regarding the link between cases of sexual abuse in childhood and same-sex partnerships of adult men, 30 years later, it is a notable finding that adds to the literature on the subject….”

However, the data available in this study did not provide information about when same-sex sexual attraction first appeared and whether it preceded or followed sexual abuse. We also do not know what characteristics associated with abuse (eg, frequency, intensity, duration) might be representative of same-sex sexual relationships in adults. It is also important to note that very few participants reported exclusively same-sex sexual relations. Thus, it is possible that sexual abuse during childhood increases the likelihood that men will have sexual relations with both same-sex and opposite-sex partners…

While this prospective evidence raises the possibility that childhood sexual abuse is related to same-sex sexual partnerships in men, these findings do not suggest that homosexual orientation is caused by child abuse.”

Wilson, Helen W., PhD and Widom, Cathy Spatz, PhD. (January 7, 2009). Does physical abuse, sexual abuse or neglect in childhood increase the likelihood of same-sex sexual relations and cohabitation? A 30-year follow-up perspective. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol 39 (1). (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

7. Certain biological and physical aspects

As I wrote at the beginning of the document, research on the direct biological and genetic causes of homosexuality is not conclusive. However, the experience of specialists suggests that certain biological factors can have an important indirect impact by affecting other parts of the developmental pathway.

An enormous amount of research has been conducted over the past 20 years attempting to correlate homosexuality with various genetic, hormonal, and neurological factors. So far, this research has resulted in interesting hypotheses but has failed to provide concrete evidence about the causes of homosexuality. Comments about this research can be found in the section below.

My observations of those with whom I have worked suggest that although biological factors may not have a direct causal role in the creation of homosexual attraction, they may contribute to its development by influencing other predisposing factors, particularly gender incongruity and sexual segregation. Next, we present some biological factors that can influence the development of homosexual attraction.

Genetic and physical traits and conditions that cause boys to feel different or separate from their peers can interfere with their relationships with other boys and can also cause a boy to feel incongruous with what she thinks it should be a boy. These conditions would cause boys to be marginalized in a negative way, but sometimes also in a positive way. Examples of such conditions include:

• – Physical deformation
• – Is overweight or underweight
• – A high or low intelligence
• – Concerns about penis size or being uncircumcised
• – Has an unusual, attractive, or unattractive physical appearance
• – Entering puberty later or earlier than the peer group

Physical traits and medical conditions that interfere with gender-typical activities, especially athletics, can similarly interfere with both same-sex membership and gender congruence. These may include:

• – Atypical body size
• – Poor body coordination
• – Lack of strength and resistance
• – Poor or delayed hand-eye coordination
• – The presence of diseases or debilitating conditions
• – Physical disabilities

Temperaments that separate boys from fathers, brothers, and men can block same-sex affiliation and foster feelings of gender incongruity. Temperaments are the innate personal traits that are observed from childhood and tend to be present throughout life. For example, temperament can predispose boys to:

• – To avoid harm
• – To be disinterested in the search for adventure
• – To be sensitive and emotional

A well-known theorist suggests that biology influences children’s temperaments and their preferences for atypical sexual activities and their peers, which causes them to feel different from their gender. Then, later, they are attracted to what is different from them.

The “exotic becomes erotic theory” proposes that biological variables such as genes, prenatal hormones, and brain neuroanatomy do not encode sexual orientation per se, but rather childhood temperaments that influence a child’s preferences for typical or atypical sexual activities with peers. These preferences cause children to feel different from children of the same or opposite sex, and to perceive them as different, unfamiliar, and exotic. This, in turn, produced non-specific autonomous arousal, which later becomes eroticized to the same category of different children: the exotic becomes erotic”.

Bem, Daryl J., PhD. (1996) The exotic becomes erotic: A theory of the development of sexual orientation. Psychological Review. Vol. 103. No. 2, 320-335.

Commentaries in the scientific literature show that evidence for a simple genetic or biological explanation of homosexuality is lacking. The evidence does not support the hypothesis of a gay gene.

“It’s important to point out what we didn’t find. I have not proven that homosexuality is genetic or found a genetic cause for being homosexual. I did not show that gay men were born this way, the most common mistake people make in interpreting my work. I haven’t even found a homosexual center in the brain.

LeVay, Simon, PhD (March 1994). The sexual brain. Discover. Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/

“There is no such thing as a ‘gay’ gene.” Sexual orientation is a complex trait, so it is not surprising that we found several DNA regions involved in its expression.

“The best estimate is that a multitude of genes, possibly interacting with environmental influences, explain differences in sexual orientation.

Our study helps establish that genes play an important role in determining whether a person is homosexual or heterosexual.”

Mustanski, Brian S., PhD. (January 27, 2005). University of Illinois press release on a genomic scan of male sexual orientation. Human Genetics, vol 116. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

While some authors have speculated about the existence of “homosexuality genes”, the genes themselves cannot directly specify any behavior or cognitive schema. Instead, genes direct a particular pattern of RNA synthesis that indicates the production of a particular protein.

There are many ways of intervening between a gene and a specific behavior and even more variables that interfere between a gene and a pattern involving both thought and behavior.

Therefore, the term “gay gene” is meaningless, unless it is proposed that a particular gene, perhaps through a hormonal mechanism, organizes the brain to support a homosexual orientation.”

Byne, William, MD, PhD (1995). Science and Faith: Psychological Research on Sexual Orientation. Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 28. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

It is possible that hormones affect sexuality through their impact on gender-typical traits. Some recent findings suggest that this may be true for women.

“Girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia, for example, are exposed prenatally to high levels of adrenal androgen hormones. Some research indicates that, postnatally, they exhibit greater aggression, enhanced (ie, masculine) visuospatial skills, more masculine occupational preferences, and an increased rate of bisexual or homosexual sexual orientation in fantasy and/or behavior.”

Alexander, Gerianne M. (2003). An evolutionary perspective on toy preferences: pink, blue, and the brain. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol 32, No 1. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

But it would be inaccurate to think that hormones have a direct connection with the interests or sexual orientation of adults.

Studies conducted in men and women who had prenatal defects in hormone metabolism did not find an increase in homosexual behavior.

“Overall, the data do not support a causal link between hormones and human sexual orientation.”

Banks, Amy, MD and Gartrell, Nanette K., MD. (1995). Hormones and sexual orientation: a questionable connection. Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 28 (3-4). Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/

“The dominant paradigm generating support for biological theories of sexual orientation has deep conceptual flaws…

The current consensus is that there is no causal relationship between adult hormonal status and sexual orientation.

“Currently, the major impetus for speculation and research regarding an endocrinological basis for sexual orientation derives from animal studies… Such studies have established the prenatal hormonal hypothesis for sexual differentiation of the rodent brain…

“The problems inherent in using studies of mating behavior in rodents … to formulate a theory of sexual orientation in humans are immense …

“Thus, the prenatal hormone hypothesis, derived from animal studies, cannot explain exclusively homosexual behavior in men with normal genital organs.”

Byne, William, MD, PhD (1995). Science and faith: Psychobiological research on sexual orientation. Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 28 (2). (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

Birth order has been investigated as a possible factor influencing homosexuality but without conclusive results.

“The number of older biological siblings, including those who were not raised with them (but not the number of non-biological older siblings), increases the probability of homosexuality in men. These results provide evidence that a prenatal mechanism, and not social and/or developmental factors, affects the development of male sexual orientation…

“If upbringing or social factors associated with older male siblings underlie the birth order effect, then the number of nonbiological older siblings should predict men’s sexual orientation, but this does not . . .

If social or upbringing factors underlie the birth order effect, the number of older biological siblings they did not grow up with should not predict men’s sexual orientation, since they should have no impact on the socio-common environment of men. younger brothers. However, these siblings predict men’s sexual orientation, as does the number of older biological siblings they were raised with.

These results support a prenatal (before birth) origin of male sexual orientation development and indicate that the sibling birth order effect is likely the result of maternal “memory” during pregnancy.

Bogaert, Anthony, PhD (July 11, 2006). Biological siblings versus older non-biological siblings and men’s sexual orientation. Proceedings of the Academy of Sciences, 103. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

“In various independent samples and studies, homosexual men are found to have a greater number of older siblings than heterosexual men … Of course, this does not provide a universal hypothesis for the origin of homosexuality, since most homosexual men do not fit this pattern.

“The hypothesis advanced in the above studies is that later birth order, with more male siblings born earlier, could lead to a progressive maternal immune response to androgens and/or Y (male-specific), antigens that, by transferring these antibodies to the fetus, could affect the masculinization of the fetus’s brain. However, why this mechanism would selectively affect only certain androgen-dependent processes such as brain programming, and not others such as genital formation is not explained by this hypothesis and is not even addressed by proponents. This theory does not explain why most boys from later births do not become homosexual, even if the older brother is homosexual…

“The advanced biological explanation for the sibling birth order hypothesis has no experimental support”.

Gooren, Louis, Ph.D., MD. (November 2006). The biology of human psychosexual differentiation. Hormones and Behavior, 2006. Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/

Brain structure research suggests a possible link between homosexuality and “less masculinized” brains. However, the research does not prove that the less masculinized brain structure is the direct cause of homosexual orientation. It is, however, possible for a man with a less masculinized brain to develop gender-atypical traits, leading to gender incongruence. This could be especially true if those around him accentuate his differences.

“A growing body of empirical literature suggests that gay men have less masculinized brains than straight men, reflected in performance on visuospatial tasks—a measure of brain masculinization and one in which straight men typically outperform women.

“Several studies show that the cognitive performance of homosexual men is more typical of heterosexual women than of heterosexual men.

“Furthermore, the brain waves of gay men while performing verbal and spatial tasks are more similar to those of straight women than men, or significantly different from both.”

Cohen, Kenneth M., PhD. (2002). Relationships between atypical childhood sexual behavior, dexterity, spatial ability, and sexual orientation in men. Archives of sexual behavior, vol. 31, no. 1. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

8. Certain emotional and psychological problems

Certain emotional and psychological problems can increase the likelihood of developing homosexuality. They probably do not play a causal role, but they can intensify the effect of other predisposing factors, especially gender incongruity, gender segregation, sexual conditioning, and sexual abuse.

The psychological and emotional problems discussed in this section are very common among gay men. While some of these problems may develop as a result of homosexual feelings, I have also noticed that many times these feelings precede the onset of homosexuality. It is believed that these problems may be part of the path to homosexuality for many men.

Obsessions and ruminative thinking can amplify problems caused by other predisposing factors. The conditions described below can be subordinated to obsessions and ruminative thinking. All of these have in common the tendency to fixate, persevere or stubbornly cling to a thought, a belief, or a way of being.

• – Perfectionism is an internal requirement for accuracy, order, perfection, or completion.
• – Rumination is the tendency to focus on topics that cause suffering. It implies pessimism and worry and focuses on failures, negative possibilities, and consequences. Sometimes the mind feels forced or pressured by these thoughts as if there is no control. This is sometimes referred to as persistent negative cognition (PNC).
• – Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder in which repetitive painful thoughts create intense anxiety, leading to compulsive behaviors in an attempt to relieve the anxiety.
• – Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is a rigid and generally perfectionist style of thinking and living. It may involve extreme perfectionism, preoccupation with order, cleanliness, detail, or control. Those who have it seem inflexible and stubborn.

Observations suggest that some form of obsession is present in approximately two-thirds of homosexual men. It was believed that during childhood and adolescence, obsessive tendencies acted as an amplifier of other problems in their lives. Unhealthy relationships with women and relationship problems with men may be more important to these boys. They may have perceived the differences between themselves and other men to be much greater and more problematic than they really are.

Their natural and normal feelings of interest, curiosity, admiration, and envy towards masculinity and their need for acceptance and approval from other men seem to have become a significant fixation for them. This fixation may have reached a high level during puberty, a time of great insecurity for most young people. The co-occurrence of this fixation and sexual feelings may have created the ideal conjuncture for the interaction between interest in masculinity and sexual feelings, leading to homosexual conditioning, as described in the section on conditioned sexuality.

Shame can be attached to masculinity, creating what we call “gender shame.” This can happen in many ways. Some boys develop the belief that men are bad by listening to women complain about the behavior of men who hurt them. Repeating them can turn the boy against his own masculinity and put other men in an unfavorable light, blocking his natural desire to emulate. This could gradually deepen her detachment from the world of men.

Some boys understand that they are not accepted as men or that they are not fit to be men. This can come from a mother overtly or subtly communicating to her son that she wants him to be a girl, that she sees him as a girl, or that she does not want him to be or act like a boy. It can happen when sisters or other girls tease or humiliate him for acting like a boy. Boys in this situation may try to please those around them, abandoning their masculinity. This message can also come from boys or men who ridicule or insult their masculine features, body, voice, mannerisms, or lack of athletic conformation. Thus, the boy may become vindictive, fearful, or avoid other men.

Most significantly, gender shaming can come from harsh judgment of one’s masculine attributes, especially related to one’s body and athletic conformation. Some boys respond to this by focusing on developing their masculine attributes, especially physical ones. Other guys will abandon the idea and ignore their bodies.

Depression and anxiety could contribute to the development of homosexuality if they interfere with a boy’s relationships with other men or generate gender incongruity. For example, a boy who is depressed may have little interest in socializing with other boys or engaging in typical boy activities such as sports, rough play, and adventure. Also, he might drift away from his father and isolate himself in his own world. An anxious boy may find it very difficult to be fully present and engaged in male-male relationships and typically male activities. Social anxiety causes boys to withdraw from individual and group friendships. Anxiety makes it very difficult to perform in sports and in other activities specific to boys, which is the most typical way in which they interact.

Growing up in these circumstances could prevent the boy from learning to relate and resonate with other boys and men, contributing to same-sex disengagement. Living life as an outsider might make them feel different from other men, leading to or intensifying gender incongruity.

Two necessary and sufficient factors

The eight predisposing factors lead to only two conditions that are necessary for the development of homosexuality.

Human sexuality is complex and can be influenced by many variables that lead to various results. Specialist experience suggests that different sets of factors lead to the presence or absence of heterosexuality versus the presence or absence of homosexuality. The first two predisposing factors—unhealthy childhood relationships with women and distorted concepts of gender—were thought to diminish or block a man’s capacity for attraction to the opposite sex, and all eight predisposing factors could work in various combinations to create two conditions that are necessary and sufficient for male homosexuality to occur. These two essential conditions are:

Condition 1: Situations in which men and masculinity become a subject of intense interest and emotional excitement.

Intense interest might be created when a boy perceives other boys or men as different, mysterious, or exotic, or when the boy’s usual needs for attachment, attention, affection, power, or protection from other men are not being met. It can occur as a result of various types of abandonment or abuse by other men. All of these situations can cause men and masculinity to become the center of attention for boys during the important years of growth and development.

Most boys experience this type of intense interest in other men during certain years of childhood and adolescence and do not develop homosexuality. But for some guys, this intense interest is loaded with deep emotions, which can be pleasant, but are more often melancholy or painful.

These emotions vary, depending on what causes them. When intense interest arises in seeing other men as different or exotic, emotions may include disgust, inferiority, envy, curiosity, wonder, awe, or a compelling urge to emulate. When interest stems from unmet needs, emotions may include desire, sadness, and loss, and when interest is the result of trauma from abandonment or abuse, emotions may include anxiety, fear, anger, hatred, horror, or shame.

Condition 2: Experiences that connect emotional interest and masculinity in menwithfeelings or impulses that are interpreted by the individual as sexual.

The process of connecting sexual feelings with a certain thing is called “sexualization”. Extensive research and clinical experience show that people are capable of sexualizing not only other people of all kinds and ages but also objects and situations.

The experience of specialists suggests that sexualization goes in the direction of an intense emotional interest. The sexualization process is biologically determined to occur during puberty. Under normal conditions, children at puberty sexualize others their own age, whom they experience – with great interest – as exotic from the point of view of gender. Most boys sexualize girls. Boys who experience gender incongruity sexualize other boys.

However, the process of sexualization can be intercepted when intense emotional interest leads the boy’s attention in another direction. For example, if a boy experiences unsatisfied needs for attachment, affection, education, or protection from other men—be they fathers, brothers, or others—the intense emotional interests that result from these needs can be sexualized. If a boy is sexually abused, aspects of the abuse may become sexualized, including the features of the perpetrator, the objects involved in the abuse, and the circumstances in which the abuse took place. Exposing a boy to male nudity—in a locker room or in pornography—in a way that generates intense feelings of curiosity, wonder, anxiety, or even shame could be sexualized.

Once a type of person, object, or situation has become sexualized, patterns of sexual arousal involving that type of person, object, or situation are likely to be reinforced by continued sexual behavior. In a very short period of time, these patterns can become fixed and lasting.

As I wrote previously, the official statement of the APA says that there is no consensus on what causes homosexuality. However, there is a large amount of research, studies, and clinical (psychotherapeutic) experience of specialists in the field that provide useful information.

Here are the comments made by experts on this topic:

“The stages of psycho-social development towards adult heterosexuality are clearly defined, known, and understood by psychologists, and it is obvious that the chances of heterosexuality are not genetically mandated. Studies of gay adults show obvious deficits in several of these developmental stages—showing that homosexuality is cultural and environmental rather than genetic.”

Whitehead, Neil E., PhD. (1999). My genes made me do this. Huntington House Pub. (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/)

“Human sexual orientation is influenced by biological, cognitive, cultural, and subcultural variables that interact, resulting in multiple types of heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals… There is so much variation within each group that the chances of finding any small set of variables which clearly counts for both the differences between groups with different sexual orientations as well as for the variations within the groups, is almost zero. “

Van Wyk, Dr. Paul H., and Dr. Schiro-Geist, Dr. Chrisann. (1995). The biology of bisexuality: criticism and observations. Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 28 (3-4). (Retrieved from http://borngay.procon.org/ ).

Source: http://genderwholeness.com/lds/understanding/what-causes-male-homosexuality/

The document above, a compilation of several scientific sources, includes, in a complex and, I consider, complete way, the relevant explanations of the moment, in most of the cases of homosexuality in men studied. He wants an attempt at information, in an attempt to understand the phenomenon.

I found all the perspectives presented above in my personal experience as a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, in cases of homosexuality (in women and men). I presented such a case in a specialized book on psychotherapeutic case studies.

Regardless of the causes, homosexuality brings with it both internal and external conflicts, with others or with society. The feeling of “misfit, of inadequacy”, of integration and functioning with oneself and with others produces terrible mental and emotional suffering for those in such a situation.

I had the opportunity to work with gay male (and female) couples and to observe other behaviors, which offer perspectives as interesting as those presented so far.

In many homosexual couples (men or women), there is a marked tendency to enter into certain roles: one of the partners adopts a more masculine-active behavior, while the other adopts a more feminine-passive behavior. In other words, although there is a homosexual couple (consisting of men or women), the tendency is to restore the “classic” structure of the couple, consisting of a man and a woman. The situation explains, all the more, I think, the need to satisfy the unsatisfied desires from childhood relationships – that is, the unconscious tendency to put the other in the desired role (necessary, I think it would be more appropriate to say). This situation can also be viewed from another perspective, of the search for the initial relationship (man-woman), of recreating it in another way, which would satisfy the individual’s primordial needs. Regardless of the perspective, the situation is not possible and leads to unconscious conflicts. These conflicts, within homosexual couples, are the subject of couples therapy; is interesting to find that, leaving aside the gender of the partners in the couple, the problem is the same as in heterosexual couples, including from a sexual point of view.

It is quite clear that homosexuals want the same thing as all other people – to go out into society, to be accepted just like any member, and to be able to live freely, according to their own expectations and desires.

The internal inadequacy, produced by internal conflicts, is also expressed in other directions: the “woman in a man’s body” tries to behave as such, but the behavior is not natural, there are enough situations in which it is inappropriate, strange, exaggerated, and it is fined by others or society. The conflict between social roles, so-called social functionality, and gender identification is all the greater the more different it is (society expects men to behave, dress in a certain way, and everything that is different by these expectations is rejected). No man will behave as the homosexual man does, nor vice versa; no female homosexual will behave like a woman, no matter how hard he tries. And that is precisely what is fined by the rest of society, which sees them… differently.

Homosexuality is, regardless of the angle of view, a conflict between two worlds: one internal and one external.

Regarding the biological or acquired (developmental) nature, it is observed that in some cases of homosexuality, the specific behavior appears from birth, is observed from a very early age, and will not change regardless of the efforts made. In other cases, which can be attributed to the other category, homosexuality will be discovered later, even after heterosexual relationships and marriages that have resulted in children.

All these difficulties that homosexuals encounter make the number of homosexuals suffering from anxiety and depression important and unfortunately, few of them turn to the psychotherapist for counseling. The fear of rejection manifests itself prominently in this situation as well. It is important to understand that those who had the courage and determination to enter a psychotherapeutic process also obtained the specific benefits of psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy of homosexuality

Perhaps it would be more appropriate to ask the question: is there psychotherapy for homosexuality? What would “this” psychotherapy propose and how would it be different from the others? Somehow the common belief or expectation would be that psychotherapy would transform the homosexual into what he “should actually be”, male or female. Yes, but that’s exactly the problem, and for them, it would be the equivalent of turning a straight man into a homosexual or, I think this example is even more appropriate, into a…woman. It is an impossible transformation, and this approach will only lead to even greater problems for the person in question, to the accentuation of the feeling of inadequacy, to the increase of internal conflicts and with others, with unpredictable consequences.

Another aspect relates to the limits and beliefs of the psychotherapist, his own attitude towards homosexuality, and/or working with homosexuals (men or women). This inner limit will put the therapist, sooner or later, face to face with his own inner conflicts, with dangerous effects on the psychotherapeutic process. It can bring the therapist face to face with his own homosexual tendencies/desires, insufficiently or not at all addressed/resolved in the process of personal development/analysis.

Another perspective is related to the professional training of the psychotherapist, to his openness and experience, to the desire for information and development. I don’t think that a homosexual necessarily wants a psychotherapist who has worked with such issues before, but he wants what any person in need, who calls for professional help, actually wants: acceptance, trust, respect, and support. And this should be offered, unconditionally, by a psychotherapist!

Yes, experience has shown me that there are homosexuals (women and men) who can change, becoming women or men, respectively, with all that this means. Their specific situations and their history allowed this, but in no case can the examples be generalized.

The homosexual is, first of all, a person, a human being who, like any other human being, must be understood and accepted. This is actually how the psychotherapy of such a case begins. The psychotherapist is not in the office to judge, but to understand, not to punish but to help. Thus he will be a good psychotherapist, according to his patient. There is no psychotherapy for homosexuality, there is psychotherapy for a person.

The subject of homosexuality is still far from being exhausted. This is how long a document is that has tried to address the basic topics (and I have not yet addressed homosexuality in women, which I will present in a future article). Sexual attraction for people of the same sex is a reality of our days and a situation that raises major problems on many levels: moral, ethical, legal, and religious. Approaching the subject with anger or hatred, with bias or extremism is not likely to solve the situation, on the contrary.

In order to find solutions to a problem, it is important to understand, first of all, what the actual problem is. And how much of this problem lies not only in our relationship with homosexuals but also with our children.