Being in a relationship may be easier than it seems. It involves a lot of adjustments, small things and changes in your life, so that you become a better partner. Whoever is telling you that everyone should accept you just the way you are is forgetting to tell you that relationships are about small compromises, and unless you are willing to change, you can forget about happiness in the long run. So, what else is needed to keep your love fresh, and to create a future-proof plan that will keep you entertained for years to come?
You already know that the magical solution does not exist, you need to keep trying every day, and that love is a continual process, something you actively work on, but that does not mean that you should not try. There are many things you can do to excite your partner that do not include spending enormous amounts of money.
Acceptance is the key
You can never know a person the way you really want to, and there are always new things that may appear in one’s personality. The key to a successful relationship is actually to accept the majority of the things you did not know about your partner, or that were newly developed. Do not insist on changing everything you do not like, and remember that there are probably a lot of things that are not perfect about you as well. It’s usually the small things that can quickly grow into a big argument, and you should prevent that as soon as you notice it, because if you make it a pattern of your behavior, to nag about everything you do not like about a person, you can quickly drive them away. Naturally, you should talk to them if you find something annoying, but be reasonable and explain why and in which manner something annoys you. Do not adjust things according to yourself alone, but to you as a couple.
Arguing is healthy
When you do come to the point where you simply do not agree, it is normal to have a debate that may seem like an argument, but avoid being childish, and refrain from yelling. You can say everything that is annoying you in a calm fashion, while avoiding to be passive-aggressive. Some couples pride themselves on never arguing, but that does not mean that they agree on everything. Arguing does not mean you are not compatible, it only means that you are two different people, and that is perfectly normal. Couples who feel free to express their emotions and opinions, even when they are conflicting, are more likely to progress and develop further as a unity. The key point here is how you handle the conflict, and that is when your true face is showing, and if you can survive through the worst, you can certainly enjoy the best.
The importance of sex
In this busy world, we rarely find time to truly show our partners how we feel about them. When under stress, or when other life problems are getting in the way, love is the first one to suffer, and that can quickly translate into the lack of sex, which is an important way of releasing stress, but also an easy way to really connect with your partner. It’s not called making love for nothing. Do not allow your sex life to suffer, no matter how stressed you are, you must try and break the routine. If you are stuck in a rut, make sure to try something new, something exciting, and do not be afraid of trying something out of the ordinary. If you are having troubles focusing on anything other than the current problem, feel free to explain that to your partner, and do not be afraid, or ashamed. Openness can lead to a greater understanding of the problem, and can even make you closer in the end. Remember that sex should be an expression of love, and not something done on autopilot, just for the sake of it. This is another great example. You should be open about these kinds of things with your partner, and if you notice a problem, make sure to explore it before it has the time to fester and cause further troubles.
I’ve found there is nothing like space in keeping the spark alive. With more people working remotely there’s increasing pressure on relationships. Having plenty of friends & outside interests is one way to counter this.