How to Manage Financial Difference in a Relationship
We hear a lot of talk about the inequality of women and men’s paychecks, but what happens when a woman earns more than her partner? Although the tables have turned and females got the right to be working moms bringing home the bread, this still affects the mindset of some men, since they may feel overpowered and insufficient.
This type of issue may destroy the relationship and bring heartbreak for those who don’t know how to deal with it. A woman can start to feel bad about her professional success or get annoyed, which eventually leads to confrontation and arguments. In these situations, it is important not to rush to conclusions, rather have an open conversation about the struggles you as a couple are facing.
First of all, financial arguments are a common, normal occurrence among couples. However, not dealing with your problems can lead to ending a beautiful relationship or a divorce. Try working things out as a team, since making separate choices will lead to the two of you leading separate lives in the near future.
Usual Money Troubles
In new relationships, it may appear to the man that he has gotten himself an alpha female, which is highly attractive in the beginning when there are no bigger strings attached. On the other hand, it is impolite to talk about your bank account early in the relationship. However, as the bond between the two grows, many issues begin to surface.
When in love, one wants to spoil their partner, with no regard to their opinions and wishes. Going down this road sets the relationship up for failure, as you are projecting unrealistic expectations. The partner may start to depend on you or develop a dose of resentment, which raises a red flag, especially in a marriage.
Feelings of shame and isolation are directly correlated with scientific research on divorce predicaments. But before things start to fall apart, make an effort to resolve all the unresolved issues driving you apart.
How to Deal With It
Before anything else, cut the unnecessary expenses and carefree spending. The importance of it is notable, particularly if the couple is planning a wedding. A big, fairytale wedding with a honeymoon abroad can cost more than one can afford and create debts from the beginning.
In addition, if one side pays for the majority of the bills, it can cause bitterness later on. So how to prevent and deal with these problems?
- Stick to the budget – Set up and stick to the budget limits the two of you have agreed upon.
- Discuss your financial difficulties – To avoid trust issues, you need be open about your financial worries. Ask your loving half for help if you’re dealing with debt or an unhealthy spending habit. Remember, you are in a committed relationship that should last for a long time.
- Not everything is about money – The sooner a couple talks about their views on money and life goals, the better the relationship will evolve. So before you make the old “for better or worse” promise, get to know all the little factors which can affect your married life. Not all problems are money-related, sometimes it’s just an excuse for bigger issues.
- Avoid daily stress – The built up stress can diminish the initial closeness in the relationship. Whatever you do, don’t forget to kiss and makeup.
- Third-party support – If the problems seem unresolvable, ask for a helping hand of family, friends and even a counselor. Don’t give up without fighting for the unique connection you have created.
- Don’t smother each other – Constant nagging about spending and daily interrogations can drive any person away. Your partner is not a child and deserves the same respect you demand for yourself.
- Money equality is an illusion – We are all different in many special ways. The only question is how compatible the pair is concerning support, understanding and mutual affection. Look at the financial situation as a joint effort that you both contribute to as a team.
- Common goals – To truly be on the same page, set up a common goal and work on it together. If the plan is to save money, look together at all the cost-effective options and apply them.
- Different perspectives – Understand the partner’s point of view. Not everyone thinks alike, so use it to your advantage and find a better solution for your issues.
- Compromise – Accept the fact that not everything can be as you imagined. Healthy and strong relationships are based on compromises and respect for the limits you’ve set.
- Financial position – Take your bank accounts into consideration. Decide on joint or separate accounts to avoid fights about finances.
Noticing the Problems Ahead
There a few simple indicators that your relationship is facing unsettled issues. React immediately and get to the bottom of things if:
- The partner feels distant
- The sexual connection weakens
- The conflicts repeat
When it comes to relationships, one side always worries more about their financial well-being. It is a good thing to have someone who can focus on the living conditions, but it can also be overwhelming if the partner becomes obsessed.
Though pointing out the craziness isn’t the best solution, try to have a heart-to-heart conversation without judging each other’s choices. Always remember to respect the person you are with and give them the necessary attention.
Listen to your partner and resolve any baggage dragging the two of you down. Work as a team towards goals you set up to achieve and keep your finances in check, without being envious of your partner’s higher paycheck or seeing it as a problem.